Things to do if you're finding it hard to get support

As it’s Mental Health Awareness Week, we thought we’d share this insightful blog post from the Mental Health Foundation with some useful tips if you’re currently struggling as you may be finding it harder to get support... 

1. Try to do the basics when you can

Eating, sleeping, moving (either inside or outside) and making sure we keep hydrated are the building blocks of life, and are important to our mental health – but they can seem overwhelming at a time like this. If you can keep your routine, or establish a new one, it may be easier to keep well. This is not easy to do. Writing a routine down at first may help. 

2. Try to accept that you are worthy of support

It’s hard to ask for help and it can be hard to believe that you are worthy of people’s time. It can also be hard to believe that you have things to offer. You are worthy of support. Try to be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is always important – though it may be hard. Health services such as your GP and pharmacy are still operating. Even under pressure, they are still there to  help, whether it’s with your mental or physical health. Don’t suffer in silence or ignore early warning signs that might prevent a crisis. 

3. Try to make a plan with your support team and professionals 

If you have support from mental health services or other organisations, ask them how things are changing during the epidemic. Mental health staff face the same pressures as other NHS teams, with staff absence and a need to work out new ways to work. Even so, they are still there. Try to ask for what you need, if you can. If you don’t feel able to explain difficulties, see if a friend or family member can help explain, or try writing it down. If things do need to change and that is difficult for you, give the new way a chance – it might be OK. Speak to your pharmacist or GP about prescriptions and blood tests. If you have to speak with other agencies, like the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) or your landlord or banks, remember you can get advice about your rights from a range of sources. 

4. Try to build a circle of support 

A circle of support is a group of people and tools that you gather around you for when times are hard. This may be practical or emotional support (like someone to look after you or your pet if you are unwell, someone who could do your shopping if you feel unable to, or a friend to send you a text each morning to check you are up). A circle of support can be in person or via digital means. 

5. Try to build and maintain connections, even when it seems hard

Most of us need a balance of being on our own and being with others. Being forced to be on our own can be damaging, and connection with other people is so important to our mental health. Being able to connect with people online or on the phone can be really helpful- but also overwhelming or confusing. It can take time to figure out how different apps or online tools work and which ones are right for you (if any). Perhaps you’ve always known the value of online communities and are able to rely on peer support from online friends. If you have skills you could share, then consider doing that if you can. 

6. Try to lean on your experiences of coping in the past 

If you’ve experienced mental health issues, there’s a chance you’ve gone through periods where you’ve been isolated, withdrawn, or challenged. You might have surprised yourself in the past with what you’ve been able to cope with, even when it seemed too awful to contemplate. It’s time to remember those times and use that learning. You may have a plan, or even a box of things you know help when things are hard. If you don’t and are feeling well at the moment this might be a good time to gather some things together. You could include relaxation tracks or breathing exercises, diversions like colouring, music or video games, or doing something creative. You could even build a den or safe space in the house. There are now a lot of free events – theatre, virtual tours of museums and similar – so you may find something that interests you. Try to do something nice for yourself every day and celebrate small wins – even if it’s as simple as washing your hair or going outside for a walk.  

7. Try to express yourself – to others and in private 

It can be hard to express the things we feel when times are hard. Getting it out can be helpful – whether we share or not. You could keep a private journal or blog, carry a notebook, or use social media or creative arts. It’s great if you have people you can confide in but even if you don’t, writing things down to revisit yourself can really help. Some people find keeping a note of things they are grateful for, or things they’ve learned, however small, helpful. If you use social media or blogs, make sure you remember to check your privacy settings and think through how comfortable you are sharing before you post.  

8. Try to limit your exposure to the news 

The news is all about coronavirus and this may add to our worries or rumination, where we chew over every thought in our heads. If this is an issue for you, then try and listen or read one news bulletin a day, then switch off and do other things – though this is hard for all of us at the moment.  

9. Try to be in the moment ?

Many of us have things in our past which affect the way we live our lives now. Many of us also worry about how things in the future will pan out. Both are important – in terms of understanding our lives and planning – but while coronavirus restrictions are in place, it may be helpful to try and live in the present. Take it one day at a time if you can. That means respecting the past and what it means, but passing each minute, hour and day as a new opportunity, and another step towards the restrictions ending. If we can work to forgive ourselves and take care of ourselves – it will help. The only way is through. 

10. Try to be a part of your community and help, if you are able 

If you are feeling well, there may be things you can do in the community to help out - especially if you are at home. Walking neighbourhood dogs, helping to deliver food or volunteering for local community initiatives can be a great way to give back. If you have IT, digital or creative skills, these are often needed by community groups and don’t require you to be out and about. Our resource Doing Good Does You Good explains how volunteering can be good for our mental health. 

This piece was authored by Mental Health Foundation staff with lived experience of distress and improved by the input of peers across the organisation. We are particularly grateful for the advice of external reviewers – in particular the valuable suggestions made by Akiko Hart, Chief Executive of NSUN. NSUN are hosting a range of blogs and resources about living with distress during the pandemic. If you are struggling to cope right now please visit this page to find a list of helplines and resources.